


Are we dancing like we're burning in paradise?

by Sonnenscheinchen1986



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Astrid S., F/M, Fix-It, Hurts So Good, Not Beta Read, Set after Endgame, Sexual Content, Songfic, They do not talk very much, You authors made me do it, do i need more tags?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-23 18:50:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17085764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonnenscheinchen1986/pseuds/Sonnenscheinchen1986
Summary: It was inevitable that this evening would end like this.And we both knew, all those years...





	1. Dancing

It was inevitable that this evening would end like this.  
And we both knew, all those years.

Throughout the evening my eyes kept looking for yours. But each time these stunning blue eyes look away quickly, directing the attention back to your companion.  
Who is this guy anyway? Any Admiral who claims to be worthy of your company ... No one can!  
You look down in embarrassment as he whispers something into your ear and old Maquis feelings awaken in me.

The blue satin dress that flatters your curves paired with the soft locks that fall out of the loose bun makes me forget the blond woman at my side and only when she asks me if I‘m alright I notice my clenched fists.  
She sees it. She knows. Her eyes discovered my object of desire long ago. Is this what they call Borg logic or is it just me - transparent like the glass I‘m holding in my hand? She makes it hardly noticeable and I'm exceptionally very happy that Tom Paris approaches us and engages us in a conversation. His words are difficult to follow, because when I look back to this presumptuous Admiral he is gone and you are standing there alone, your elbows leaning on the counter, your eyes directed into the distance, watching the people present. You breathe deeply, it seems that this is the first moment this evening nobody takes you to congratulate on the successful return of Voyager.  
I take my chance, apologize to my interlocutors and make my way to your direction.  
My pulse is racing, I try to keep my composure. Unbelievable that you can still make my body react like this.  
I have no idea what I really want to say to you, I just know that I can‘t let you go tonight....

——————————————————————-

The whole evening your eyes are searching mine.  
I look at the young blonde at your side and my heart is getting heavy. I'm avoiding your stare, I can‘t bare it.

The man next to me bores me. I can barely follow his conversation, too much champagne is spreading in my head, the declining euphoria and tension of the evening makes me tired.  
His words whisper a certainty in my ear and I can only smile tiredly.  
Plump and unappropriate.  
He leaves quickly after I give him my rejection.

Looking at the distance, lost in thoughts some melancholy starts to spread inside of me. „Damn champagne“ I think...

„May I have this dance?“

Damn, your brown eyes are staring at me, your left hand reaching for mine, my head is suddenly empty, all senses focused on you now. No thoughts, just feelings.  
My cheeks blush as my hand takes yours and you lead us to the dancefloor.

A little embarrassed, I stand opposite you, your right hand still holds mine as your left hand touches my hip and you gently bring me closer to you.  
A shiver flows through my body as your eyes look deep into mine and you start to move me in the slow beat of the music.

After a while of slow dancing I see that Seven has left and wonder why you‘re dancing with me instead of her.

You turn me around so I can feel your body close to my back, your fingers tangled in mine.  
Instinctively, I tilt my head to the side as your lips delicately stroke my ear. With circular movements, I press my pelvis slowly into your body, still dancing or whatever that may be meanwhile ....  
I can not control it anymore, I want to feel you. For too long suppressed desire bubbles to the surface and lets us dance as if we‘re burning in paradise.

Your fingertips gently glide up my forearms up to my shoulders and you brush my strand of hair aside as you whisper „Kathryn“ in my ear. No captain, no rank, just my name. The way it slides over your lips seems to spread a fire in the middle of my body and I turn around, take your hand and lead you to the exit of this damned magnificent building, ignoring all the glances of the guests...

 

———————————-


	2. Closest to heaven

The night air is cold. I had almost forgotten that feeling of fresh winter air.  
Seven years on this ship. Seven years sitting beside you, day by day at your side, devoted to you as your First Officer. And then at night, night after night, those thoughts of what we could be if duty weren’t between us.

And I can hardly believe that the warmth of your hand has just made me forget the cold around me. Your hand in mine. So small and delicate, yet they are the hands of the strongest woman I have ever met!  
You seem to be in a hurry to get away with me.  
But I get the urge to stop you and pull you into a side street and I ask you what you have in mind.  
"I don’t want to talk anymore, Chakotay." And you look at me with glowing eyes that say more than I could ever read in it before.

Your gaze falls on my mouth and for me this is invitation enough. I take your face in my hands and my lips gently touch yours.  
As gentle as this touch was initially, it quickly turns into a deep kiss that makes me forget the cold winterbreeze. I push you against the wall of the building in this side street and my hands are now walking along your slender arms and find space on your hips, which I have now firmly under control to press you a little to me.  
You open your mouth and your tongue softly begs for entry, a small tender tongue tip that starts to feel mine and I wonder if I've ever been so close to heaven.

—————————————————————— 

It's been so long. It feels like an entire life.  
Two years or more, my brain just can not remember, let alone count right now.  
But as your oh so soft lips are touching mine, memories of that perfect feeling between tender pressure and desire are obscuring my senses. A touch of whiskey joins the taste of your tongue, coupled with the unmistakable fragrance that just smells like you. A fragrance that gave me safety for years, always at my side, loyal and supportive.  
I feel your hands on my hips and you pull me closer to you.  
A soft moan comes over my lips. My hands dig into your black hair and instinctively press you closer to me. My body has already been reacting to you and as your warm hand strokes my thigh and grabs the curves of my butt, I can’t help but loop my leg over yours to get even closer to you.  
It seems like this kiss is endless and I could taste your tongue forever when I hear an excited sigh that comes out of your mouth and you break the kiss to tell me: "Your apartment, now!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What should they do next? ;)


	3. Hurts so good

I don‘t even know how we got here, it seems time and space has no meaning anymore when I‘m with you.  
The view from this huge window is really breathtaking but it is nothing compared to the picture that is in front of me. You're shivering a bit from the cold outside or is it because of me? An almost embarrassed Kathryn Janeway stands in front of me with a slopsided smile and takes the pins out of her hair. You shake your head a little and it takes my breath away.. You never looked more beautiful than at that moment when everything around us does not seem to exist anymore. The urge to kiss you, I really can not suppress anymore and again my lips taste yours. You make me crazy, all I want is to feel you with every fiber of my body. I bite into your lower lip, so hungry for more and the sound that escapes from your throught only makes me wilder. My hand buried deep in your soft auburn hair gently pulls your head back to give me access to your neck. I put little kisses up your throat and suck in the place under your ear and your scent and the taste of your skin almost make me lose my selfcontrol. You seem to be similar, because you push me in the direction of the couch in this huge apartment in the middle of the room and I settle on it. You stand in front of me, again this smile that has always put a spell on me and you lift up your dress above your legs and sit on my lap. Under hot kisses, my hands begin to wander along your thighs and tightly grip your hips, which have already started to move closer to my body in a circular motion. My hands are starting to shake, I do not know how much longer I can stand this! Seven years of foreplay and now the woman who sneaked into my dreams every night is almost too much to see in front of me… ———————————————————————- Cold. Hot. My skin is tingling since we are here in these four walls. Cold skin and then the warm fingertips that drilled into my skin. It feels like I'm burning! It almost hurts, but damn it hurts so good! And I'm not sure if it's the champagne that makes me dizzy or the feeling that your body is finally so close to mine. All the denials of recent years no longer matter. And I do not want to regret anything anymore. Because it feels far too good what’s going on between us right now. Sitting on you my hips move up and down, circling, and even if you would try to deny it, I can clearly feel how aroused you are. Your thumbs go under the straps of my dress and drag them down in a slowly agonizingly way. As you put kisses on my cleavage, I feel you open my bra and your now greedy hands remove it as well. My head automatically falls backwards as you start stroking my breasts, they fit so perfectly into your big hands as your hot tongue starts to circling around my nipples. A quiet voice inside of me reminds me of restraint, but the next moment a husky groan escapes and heaven knows I can’t hold back anymore. For too long now I want to do exactly what we are about to do and it is obvious that you feel the same way. To hell with restraint, I think, and my hands, which have been leaning against your strong chest, are getting active and buttoning the suit you look so sexy in it- button by button and slipping it down over your broad shoulders. When you realize how impatient I become you start helping me take off your shirt and oh god yes - finally my hands hit your bare chest and I can feel your heart racing. Why did we wait so damn long?


	4. Summer rain

Have you ever felt warm raindrops patter on your skin in the middle of a hot indian summer?  
That feeling of the warm rain that covers your skin like an ocean and you allow every pore of your body to asorb it - I guess it makes you realize that you are alive.  
That's the way it feels right now. Here. With you.

You already opened my belt and carefully freed my manhood, when I even more deepen our kisses and I'm no longer able to hold anything back anymore. I push your panties aside and you gingerly sink down on me, so slow and the heat between your legs makes me forget my name, my origin and the universe I live in. To feel you so tight around me and hearing your moans getting more intense the deeper I'm diving into you erases all my thoughts.

My self-control is gone and everything that happens now is only pure instinct.  
I always knew that you were a passionate woman in a variety of areas, your thirst for research has always impressed me. But this ... that picture of you above me and your delicate movements, the eagerness that you display as you begin to move faster up and down on me makes my breath falter. It feels so insanely right, as if we have done this a thousand times before and you make me forget all the lonely nights I have spent without you.

———————————————————————

 

There’s something about you, the way you looked at me all those years, the sound of your voice that challenged me in every discussion we ever had…. Something I can’t quite define but it made me lose a little of my mastery and the circle of the people that can do this to me is very small.  
And you always made me want to do things that I should’nt.  
You don’t even know how dangerous you are! And how overwhelming you feel inside of me!

Gliding up and down your hard member I‘m gasping for air and as you hold me tight I pant your name and whisper softly in your ear how delicate this feels for me.

Everything happened so fast and I wish this moment could last forever. There is nothing between us, no barriers to keep. In this moment we are one.  
You once gave me a promise, on a planet lightyears away, it seems so long ago. You promised to wait for me and tonight I can finally give this back to you in offering my soul and my heart. 

And while I’m thinking about assuring to you that I won’t let anything come between us anymore I feel the pressure build up inside me for what it feels forever now.  
When you recognize that I’m on the edge you murmur sweetly in my ear: „Come with me“ and it is all I need to let me come so hard that some sparkling stars are everything I can see now….


	5. Love

Your chest is heaving up and down and under hard breaths you gasp: "That was ..." - "Urgently necessary?" I finish your thoughts.  
A broad smile is forming and spreading all over your beautiful face, more radiant than it was that evening on a planet far away where I felt absolutely content for a much too short time.  
Your eyes are looking for mine and I study the contours of your face, trying to memorize every detail of your satisfied look. Radiant dark sapphire eyes, the notch above your left eyebrow and those laugh lines that spread over your cheeks, which I have been able to perceive too rarely lately.

I feel your fingertips touching my face, they drive down from my tattoo along my temples and make hold on my chin which you gently lift up to give me another kiss with your delicious lips.

They taste so incredibly good and I get over the urgency to taste you everywhere so I grab your hips and lift you up to turn you on the couch with a swift movement so that you are now completely under my weight. I could get used to this sight!  
With hungry kisses I gently push you into the pillows and my tongue wanders down your neck. You seem to enjoy my ministrations because you raise your arms and let them down over your head. You lift your upper body and stretch it lasciviously against me, I recognize your invitation and spoil your breasts with my mouth and my greedy tongue ... Spirits, the smell of your bare skin makes me mad!

My tongue finds its way down, driving through your belly button and I finally undress you completely by pushing down that breathtaking dress and your soaked panties along your damn long graceful legs. I have to grin as you willingly open them for me in an instant. How many times have I dreamed about you doing this for me?

I start gently kissing you at your most sensitive spot and I am just lost.  
Not in my wildest dreams have I imagined how incredibly delicious your taste is!  
Your quiet groans reach my ears and make me instantly hard again.

————————————————————————

I was always suspecting your mouth to do an outstanding job!  
Your lips are sucking on me and between tender kisses I feel your broad tongue licking repeatedly from the bottom to the top along the whole length of my femininity and it drives me crazy! Again and again you carry on this action and I hear only far away my own wheezing whimpering. You stop just to lock my mouth with yours. Your swollen lips taste like a mixture of you and me - so tasty!

The urgency to feel you inside of me again makes me wrap my legs around your strong body. As I try to press you closer I feel like you hitting hard against my entry and I'm getting more and more impatient. Skin on skin, your muscular arms hug me tight and your tongue plays hot with mine. I break the kiss and whisper: "Chakotay, please!" and you enter careful into me until you hit the deepest spot of my inside so I have to hold my breath.

I just can’t remember why I resisted this for so long. You let me swim on a wave like no one before, nothing compares to this, to you, to us!

What began so slowly becomes faster and faster and as you lift your upper body and bring your whole weight to your knees you pull my abdomen up with you and this position gives you full access to love me forceful and vigorous.

I can not help but moan louder and louder as my climax approaches me with all its power.  
As the ringings fade away in my ears, you pull me up into a tight hug and say: „I love you so damn much!“ and I have never felt stronger and weaker at the same time.


	6. The new life

A little sunray breaks through the window in your bedroom as a small tickling of your hair in my nose wakes me up. You lie half on me, your arms over my chest, I can feel your soft breasts pressing against my skin. My hand that rested on my thigh during my deep sleep now drives through your hair and I kiss you on the top of your head. The scent of your hair that has sneaked up my nostrils all these years still infatuates me. My heavy muscles admonish me and are witnesses of the last passionate hours I have spent with the woman of my dreams. 

It has been hours of lovemaking and a very long time for me since being with a woman! And you are an insatiable one, I have to admit!  
Somewhere in the middle of our sessions you pushed me into your bedroom and devoured me several more times, I stopped counting at some point.

You open your eyes and smile at me under touseled hair.  
"Good morning!" You say and give me a light kiss.

Your smile is contagious. But suddenly I notice a slight sadness in your eyes and I ask you immediately if I did something wrong, if I hurt you.

"Not physically .... obviously, you hurt me in a good way!“

"So what's wrong then?"

"I'm just ... I mean ...."

"Is it about Seven?"

Your eyes immediately get icy as you answer: „Yes! Don‘t get me wrong, it's none of my business. But I just thought that she and you are .... "

After a moment of silence I know what I want to say to you: "In the middle of the journey of our life, I found myself astray in a dark wood, where the straight road had been lost."

A smile sneaks under your questioning expression and you raise an eyebrow: „You try to substantiate this liaison with a quote from Dante, which you have already submitted to me?"

"You remember that conversation between us? How is this possible?"

"Do not underestimate me, Commander! I already told you that I know more than you think. When it comes to your apple cider, for example. But for now I don’t want to philosphe about temporal mechanics before I even had my first coffee.  
So tell me, Chakotay, I just want to understand!“

"I thought I'd lost you! After Quarra, maybe even before that ... lots of things had changed. It has been increasingly difficult for me to approach you lately.  
Seven was easy! And the most intriguing thing about her was how much she resembled you in some aspects, which is no wonder by the fact that you were her mentor. But I quickly realized this and made it clear that things would not continue between us. Honestly, Kathryn, it was just a few dates. Because the truth is: I never got over you! You're the first thing I have in mind when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I close my eyes at night. You are my best friend, everything I experience I want to share with you. I have found inner peace with you and simply can not imagine a life without you. I may have strayed on the way, but it's just as I've already told you: If you always see the road ahead of you, it's not worth the trip. You as a scientist would have to agree, right? "

You stare at me for a long while and then confess: „I love you too, Chakotay!"

A little confused but more than happy to have heard these words out of your mouth I listen when you continue:

"I suggest letting go of the things that have happened and finding the courage for new adventures and passions and look to the future with hope. And I want to take this future together with you. Are you in?"

"Always!"

Your breathtaking smile returns to your pretty face.  
"Good! Oh, and do you intend to give these lectures more often in this future? "

"As mentioned before, that will certainly be the case. But you have the last word as always! "

"Perfect! Than lets start our new life with making some very good memories for our future selves and kiss me the way you did so deliciously all the previous night long ... "

I refuse an Aye, Captain and follow your orders with pleasure!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little story as much as I did in my head for about 20 years now. As already mentioned my grammar isn’t the best – maybe there’s a nice author out there who’s willing to read beta if I find the Muse to write down all the stories I have in mind.... Anyone?  
> Special thanks to Netflix who supports my addiction of Star Trek and let’s me watch Resolutions, Coda and Shattered anytime my J/C heart needs some input.  
> And an outstanding thanks to all the authors here that fill my fantasies with J/C fluff since two years now and made me finally realize that I’m not the only freak out there who thinks there was this special tension between them and that it was a huge mistake they didn’t end happily together in Endgame. Without you I didn’t even realize that the books of Kirsten Beyer exist! THANKS a lot!!


End file.
